go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait
shout-out to that tumblr user that you can’t believe follows you
okay so we know about jesus when he’s a baby, and jesus when he’s an adult, but does the bible ever mention his rebellious teenager years?
‘jesus, go feed the donkey.’
‘yOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER’
the ground shakes a little, and a voice comes down from the sky
‘do what your stepfather says you little shit’
my parents failed to raise me to become an olympian, i’m so disappointed in them